Friday, November 20, 2015

Transgender Day of Remembrance

So, this morning before I left for work I offered to give my son Quincy a ride to school. The school is just down the street and he used to ride his bike to and from but with the weather getting colder he's been asking for a ride there in the morning. I asked him if he wanted a ride and he nodded yes. He was quiet, even more so than usual. I assumed he was tired, he's not much of a morning person. He was sitting on the couch writing something and I assumed it was homework or something he needed to do before school.

I wanted to leave around 8:15 and at 8:20 he was still rushing around getting ready and I even asked him if he had packed his lunch yet and he shook his head no and then quickly packed his lunch. I continued talking to him but he was not talking back to me.

I went out and started the car since it was cold this morning and then I waited for him to come out and when he finally did, I noticed he had a note pinned to his shirt. When he got in the car I read part of the note and saw that it said he was choosing to remain silent today to remember the transgender individuals that have lost their lives due to trans-phobic violence. 

I had heard that it was Transgender Awareness Week on NPR but I was not aware of this specific day nor the history behind it.

I asked him if he knew this last night, why wouldn't he tell anyone he planned on doing this...he just smirked and shrugged his shoulders. Later I even remembered that the night before he had asked me if I'd seen the small bag of safety pins and I said I thought it was with some of his art supplies but that I hadn't seen it in a while.

I told him I thought he was brave to do this at school today and that I stood behind him 100%. When I dropped him off at school, I told him I loved him and he jumped out and headed in. 

I am very proud of him.

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Thursday, November 12, 2015


As I watch her
I know in my heart of hearts
I love her

And to myself, I've told
and to no one else
How fragile she can be
and gentle
Like the breath of a child as it sleeps

So I am still
   and watch
              and not disturb


My memory exists in fragmented images.
Like a mirror, broken.
Countless reflecions of my life 
each piece a different view.
One piece I see is you
and I'm compelled to pick it up.
I gaze into it too long and it cuts me deeply.
Clutching the piece in my fist, in pain.
Cutting into my heart, my soul.
I see myself now reflected in the shards.
Looking to find you. 
To find us.
Weak and bleeding, I realize you are no longer there


Sunlight glinting off it, caught my eye
A silver band
She is beautiful
walking towards me
Third finger, left hand

My heart races, wanting to speak.
The circle symbolic.
She draws near me and stops
My gaze jumps between her eyes and the ring
Both are brilliant and shining
singing the same note

The ring speaks to me of love and devotion
I see in her eyes, passion and humor
Not a sound is made as she gently
places a kiss
upon my lips

I am touched to the deepest well of my heart my mind my spirit

-The ring
Encircling with love never encompassing
-Her eyes 
Seeing with clarity my love for her.


I was so numb
for so long
The world went on around me
not caring
not slowing down
To let me catch up
I sat staring
wanting to change

My hair
My job
The channel
While my marbles slowly fell away
Tic - Toc, they bounced
across the floor
and rolled
into dark corners